Traditional vs. Non-Traditional/Modern Marriages....what's your take on this? Read the thoughts from our Publisher's view ( these are her opinions).
For myself, being in a traditional marriage is nothing new, it comes naturally to me. It's the small gestures, like fixing your husband a sandwich for lunch (without being asked to), is what makes a marriage strong and makes him feel truly appreciated.
My views on what a traditional marriage should be like, is much different than my peers and that has a lot to do with how I was raised, I will always be thankful to my parents for that aspect.
I believe in waking up in the early morning hours and fixing my husband's lunch and breakfast, I do this a couple of hours before my children wake up, I do the same for them as well. I believe in fixing my husband's plate for dinner, I'm already fixing my children's plates, why not wait on my husband as well. I don't wait on him hand and foot, but I do things that my husband asks me to do, such as, "Honey, can you fix me something to drink?", within reason of course, I'll do it! I believe in keeping my husband in the loop to where I may be going and what my plans are, it's not that I'm asking for permission to do something, because I am a grown woman, but I am merely keeping our communication lines open!
There are a lot of things that we do in our marriage, that seems strange to my peers, but to us, this is our "normal". Call me naive, but I just always thought that this is what you do in a marriage. You show each other love and respect and the outcome is much more than one would think.
I'm not saying that a traditional marriage is better than a non-traditional/modern marriage (and I'll get in to that in a minute), but I do believe that being in a traditional marriage is a huge piece of the puzzle for a long-lasting relationship. Of course, there are ups and downs in any marriage, struggles...of course! But it's the simple things that we do for each other, that keeps our marriage strong. And just so no one gets it confused, a traditional marriage is not a one way street where the wife is the one always doing, the husband plays a huge part as well.
There are still plenty of traditional marriages alive and thriving; unfortunately, there are a lot more non-traditional/modern marriages in this country.
So let's rewind time for a minute and take a trip to the past, let's say the 1950s era. Women were becoming more independent. They were discovering their strengths, their weaknesses, and their voices! They no longer wanted to be "trapped" in a traditional marriage. They no longer wanted to be submissive to their husbands. They wanted more independence from their spouse, they wanted to make their own choices without the opinion of their husband, they started doing things that made them feel more powerful. For once, women didn't have to rely on their husbands to support them, financially and emotionally.
These changes in women and marriage in general, is what makes up the Non-traditional/modern marriage. I know plenty of people who have a Non-traditional/modern marriage. Where in my opinion, the husband is the submissive. (I'm sure I just rattled some cages with that statement, but again, this is my opinion.) The wife, is most often the bread winner or at least makes equal to her husband. The wife makes the decisions for the family and most often tells her spouse what they are doing, instead of collaborating together on a plan (this is a characteristic found in traditional marriages). Again, there is nothing wrong with a modern marriage. It works for them.
I do not consider myself to have a modern marriage. Yes, I am independent, but when it comes to my marriage, I am submissive and I don't mind one bit. I am traditional, this is my normal. This is what works for our marriage. And what works best for some, doesn't necessarily work for others.
Recently, I started observing relationships, reading blogs, and searching the internet to write this article. I have given it much thought and even considered not publishing it, because frankly, we have become more vocal, and anyone's opinions that are not like yours, people tend to become argumentative and start the social media bashing (how grown-up).
Through my research, I have discovered that women who prefer the modern/non-traditional marriage, usually ends up divorcing their spouse, due to unresolved conflicts in their marriage. Sometimes, being Mrs. Independent, leads to being Miss Independent. Some spouses just can't find the happy medium when there are two alphas in a relationship. Now, I'm not saying that they will never be happy in their relationships, because if they've found a submissive husband, their marriage couldn't be happier...again...it's what works for them and this is a non-traditional/modern marriage.
I would love to hear your opinions on what you think a Traditional Marriage is and what you think a Non-Traditional/Modern Marriage is. I'll be using this article and your comments (the readers) to write another article for our Winter Issue!